Awkward time for a first I know, pilot season is over, there will be no album release party, the premier is underwhelming with no red carpet, no paparazzi, no beauties in gowns. There will however, be another Arsenal Blog. 10 league games to go, or 9 or whatever, but a cup semi and the potential elation of getting past Monaco with an injury time 3rd goal after we break out from a corner and Keiron Gibbs feeds Koscielny to stretch and finish and take us through to the quarter finals of the Champions' League, leaves plenty to rap about before it's all over in May. So here we are and so we go, I hope you enjoy We Were Once Invincible.
Our Arsenal credentials will surely reveal themselves over time, but in the meanwhile, you'll just have to trust us.
Lets get started shall we. Our defeat to Monaco was the football equivalent of a cartoon villain being pricked with a pin and shooting around the room as he deflates. Especially as we were outstanding for the first 10 minutes. We got in behind more than a couple of times and could've scored in the third minute. The rest is old news, they defended with an ocean of tackling henchmen in the middle of the park and we rarely got the ball out of midfield. The few times we did threaten, the chances fell to poor old Giroud who couldn't finish for toffee. They scored a couple of goals, we got one back, a nice one at that, and then we let them score at the death. They were all pretty shit to concede, maybe the first was a little unlucky but still. Fuck. Anyway, this is all old news and has surely been hashed out enough.
Since then, we've had a bit of weird game against Everton, where nobody really did much of anything, but we got 2 goals and they got none. Then we had a tricky game against the sort of wannabe evil institution that is QPR. The would be villains, were they any good, tried hard and got a goal after we got our two and gave a good account of themselves for their fans, who I'm sure are as disenchanted by their owners and previous twitchy manager as the rest of us.
Then came the sweet ass big one. The FA Cup Quarter Final against fuck stick supreme RvP and his crew of overpriced, caviar sniffers. And of course that lunatic Van Gaal. The guys like an old university professor who lost his tenure for publishing a paper about the impending squid flew epidemic being perpetrated intentionally by the consortium of man sized mosquitoes with Beatles hair dos who secretly run Yemen.
It was tense, it was tight, it was a good cup game. Everyone fought hard and there was a lot of running and a lot of diagonals up to the Belgian Screech, but we made a breakthrough, a terrific goal in the 24th minute or something like that. Some good passing saw Ozil find some room in the middle. Being the arty kid at the back of the class meant that Ozil didn't drive into the United defense like we thought he should but instead found the Ox coming in off the right. He had been rinsing his old buddy Shaw all evening and this time he dribbled through about 16 guys on the edge of the box and found Nacho Monorail free to his left. And that finish. How about that finish, a great first touch out in front of him and then a cute near post-er to beat David 'Off to Madrid' De Gea. Goal Monorail, goal Arsenal.
Of course we couldn't hang onto the lead for too long. 3 or 4 minutes later nobody closed down Di Maria when he cut inside and curled an outstanding cross right onto the head of the unmarked Rooney. Koscielny's been criticized for the poor marking and I guess it's on him, but maybe Woj could've had a word in the build up. From then on it was a pretty even contest, Man U kept punting the ball up to Fellaini and he'd knock it down and there'd be some danger of there being some danger but nothing ever came. I don't think we threatened an awful lot until we got the goal that we all wanted so bad for Welbeck. Valencia's short back pass let him in and he used his lightning pace, something he doesn't get enough credit for, to get around De Gea and finish. 2-1 to the Arse. It could've been more but De Gea made 2 ridiculous saves. Like, ridiculous. Poor old Santi must've thought he'd had a goal from open play for the first time in 34 years and Alexis surely thought his drought was over too. We'll skip past the fact that in the build up to that, Ozil probably should've shot and scored.
Before that Alexis chance though, Di Maria did a bit of comedy theater for the Arsenal fans. In the first act he was booked for diving when he had made some space for a shot on the edge of the box after skinning Rambo, in the second he protested the booking by pulling at the ref rather aggressively and in the third he was booked again and walked off the pitch. All kidding and Man U bashing aside, diving has become a real epidemic in football. Ashley Young is notorious and pulled a few little exaggerated splashers that day, but Di Maria and later Januzai were fucking shameful, so somebody give Michael Oliver a handjob because he's actually done something about it. And at Old Trafford.
We hung on against 10 men, which for whatever reason we had to do, instead of close out the game. But it ended 2-1 and we won at Old Trafford for the first time since 1741. FA Cup Semi against Reading or Bradford to come and a potential final against Liverpool or Tactic Tim's Aston Villa.
Now onto the game against West Ham. We won 3 nil. We rested a couple of guys and looked pretty good. Theo was put through in the 3rd minute but didn't shoot when he should have and then was fouled by the guy who if he were black would look cool but he's white and ginger so looks ridiculous, but no pen given. He should've scored again when Ramnbo found him with an absurdly good pass, but he hit it at the keeper. We had some other good moves that maybe should've been goals but the goal we did get was worth the wait. Fucking awesome, vintage Arsenal. 4 or 5, 1 or 2 touch passes between Ozil, Rambo and Giroud before Giroud took over a Rambo dribble into the box and belted it against the post into the top corner.
Half time came and the second half was sort of a snoozer, we never got out of just woke up on Sunday and it's raining mode but we never looked in any danger. Santi and Welbeck came on and Rambo got another fantastic goal. A dummy from our super underrated beautiful, French flick machine then a 1-2 between he and Ramsey before Rambo finished left footed. 2 nil. It was 3 when Santi played a 1-2 with handsome Giroud whose hot and sexy flick around the corner let Cazorla play a low ball across the goal for the Flam to finish with his first touch. Flam on and 3 nil to the Arsenal. A funny game, but an outstanding performance by our sexy, French quiff, scoring one, assisting another and playing a big part in the third. He was great all game and has been winning our affection pretty expertly this season.
Our Arsenal credentials will surely reveal themselves over time, but in the meanwhile, you'll just have to trust us.
Lets get started shall we. Our defeat to Monaco was the football equivalent of a cartoon villain being pricked with a pin and shooting around the room as he deflates. Especially as we were outstanding for the first 10 minutes. We got in behind more than a couple of times and could've scored in the third minute. The rest is old news, they defended with an ocean of tackling henchmen in the middle of the park and we rarely got the ball out of midfield. The few times we did threaten, the chances fell to poor old Giroud who couldn't finish for toffee. They scored a couple of goals, we got one back, a nice one at that, and then we let them score at the death. They were all pretty shit to concede, maybe the first was a little unlucky but still. Fuck. Anyway, this is all old news and has surely been hashed out enough.
Since then, we've had a bit of weird game against Everton, where nobody really did much of anything, but we got 2 goals and they got none. Then we had a tricky game against the sort of wannabe evil institution that is QPR. The would be villains, were they any good, tried hard and got a goal after we got our two and gave a good account of themselves for their fans, who I'm sure are as disenchanted by their owners and previous twitchy manager as the rest of us.
Then came the sweet ass big one. The FA Cup Quarter Final against fuck stick supreme RvP and his crew of overpriced, caviar sniffers. And of course that lunatic Van Gaal. The guys like an old university professor who lost his tenure for publishing a paper about the impending squid flew epidemic being perpetrated intentionally by the consortium of man sized mosquitoes with Beatles hair dos who secretly run Yemen.
It was tense, it was tight, it was a good cup game. Everyone fought hard and there was a lot of running and a lot of diagonals up to the Belgian Screech, but we made a breakthrough, a terrific goal in the 24th minute or something like that. Some good passing saw Ozil find some room in the middle. Being the arty kid at the back of the class meant that Ozil didn't drive into the United defense like we thought he should but instead found the Ox coming in off the right. He had been rinsing his old buddy Shaw all evening and this time he dribbled through about 16 guys on the edge of the box and found Nacho Monorail free to his left. And that finish. How about that finish, a great first touch out in front of him and then a cute near post-er to beat David 'Off to Madrid' De Gea. Goal Monorail, goal Arsenal.
Of course we couldn't hang onto the lead for too long. 3 or 4 minutes later nobody closed down Di Maria when he cut inside and curled an outstanding cross right onto the head of the unmarked Rooney. Koscielny's been criticized for the poor marking and I guess it's on him, but maybe Woj could've had a word in the build up. From then on it was a pretty even contest, Man U kept punting the ball up to Fellaini and he'd knock it down and there'd be some danger of there being some danger but nothing ever came. I don't think we threatened an awful lot until we got the goal that we all wanted so bad for Welbeck. Valencia's short back pass let him in and he used his lightning pace, something he doesn't get enough credit for, to get around De Gea and finish. 2-1 to the Arse. It could've been more but De Gea made 2 ridiculous saves. Like, ridiculous. Poor old Santi must've thought he'd had a goal from open play for the first time in 34 years and Alexis surely thought his drought was over too. We'll skip past the fact that in the build up to that, Ozil probably should've shot and scored.
Before that Alexis chance though, Di Maria did a bit of comedy theater for the Arsenal fans. In the first act he was booked for diving when he had made some space for a shot on the edge of the box after skinning Rambo, in the second he protested the booking by pulling at the ref rather aggressively and in the third he was booked again and walked off the pitch. All kidding and Man U bashing aside, diving has become a real epidemic in football. Ashley Young is notorious and pulled a few little exaggerated splashers that day, but Di Maria and later Januzai were fucking shameful, so somebody give Michael Oliver a handjob because he's actually done something about it. And at Old Trafford.
We hung on against 10 men, which for whatever reason we had to do, instead of close out the game. But it ended 2-1 and we won at Old Trafford for the first time since 1741. FA Cup Semi against Reading or Bradford to come and a potential final against Liverpool or Tactic Tim's Aston Villa.
Now onto the game against West Ham. We won 3 nil. We rested a couple of guys and looked pretty good. Theo was put through in the 3rd minute but didn't shoot when he should have and then was fouled by the guy who if he were black would look cool but he's white and ginger so looks ridiculous, but no pen given. He should've scored again when Ramnbo found him with an absurdly good pass, but he hit it at the keeper. We had some other good moves that maybe should've been goals but the goal we did get was worth the wait. Fucking awesome, vintage Arsenal. 4 or 5, 1 or 2 touch passes between Ozil, Rambo and Giroud before Giroud took over a Rambo dribble into the box and belted it against the post into the top corner.
Half time came and the second half was sort of a snoozer, we never got out of just woke up on Sunday and it's raining mode but we never looked in any danger. Santi and Welbeck came on and Rambo got another fantastic goal. A dummy from our super underrated beautiful, French flick machine then a 1-2 between he and Ramsey before Rambo finished left footed. 2 nil. It was 3 when Santi played a 1-2 with handsome Giroud whose hot and sexy flick around the corner let Cazorla play a low ball across the goal for the Flam to finish with his first touch. Flam on and 3 nil to the Arsenal. A funny game, but an outstanding performance by our sexy, French quiff, scoring one, assisting another and playing a big part in the third. He was great all game and has been winning our affection pretty expertly this season.
